I am beginning to think that some marriages are coming with a 'Boredom Clause'. Somewhere in the fine print, whispered at the end, there must be one. “Til Death do us Part, or I'm just not feelin' it anymore.”
A wedding is not merely a reason to have a party. You don't get married because it is 'time'. Thousands upon thousands of dollars are spent for the extravaganza that is the bride's BIG DAY. Heinous dresses, gimongous sprays of flowers, battles over ivory or ecru invitations are seeming requirements these days in order for a couple to say “I Do”. Were these couples to spend one-tenth the time, money and planning it took to pull off the wedding on such endeavors as pre-marital counseling and discussing how they view life and the future, we could save a whole-lotta heartache.
I have recently run into several couples that have made the decision to get divorced. Most have children. One or the other of them has decided that this marriage was too constricting, maybe they could do better, or it wasn't quite what they expected. So, rather than re-examine how they got here, remember why they fell in love to begin with, and commit to ride out the tough time, they call it quits. The ones that irritate me the most are the ones who say “We're still great friends”. I see red just thinking about it. Don't degrade the term marriage with such a cavalier attitude. If you are still great friends, you really didn't try hard enough.
My marriage is a little over 18 years old now. I had NO IDEA the twists, turns and pitfalls we would endure. There have been many times when the ease of just being able to go-it-alone has crossed my mind. Yield and compromise are rare in my fighting style. Suffering through, asking for help, and coming to an agreement are a close second to walking barefoot on crushed glass. In the end, however the benefits of working it out FAR outweighed the alternative. I love my husband with a fierce devotion. Our shared experiences make us who we are and enrich our lives. We stay together because you reap the benefits of the effort. We decided to do that when we got married. It wasn't a whim, it wasn't a trial offer. It was a vow.