Thursday, May 10, 2012

Mawage is wat bwings us twogeva twoday....

I love the Princess Bride, and could not resist the opportunity to quote the minister!

So, there is a TON of talk about marriage this week.  Gay marriage, hetero marriage, yes marriage, no marriage.

I think the bigger question should be IF you get married, what plans do you have to STAY married?

Marriage is not easy, but it IS exceedingly rewarding.  In The Case for Marriage, Waite and Gallagher cite some of the benefits:

• Married people are much happier and likely to be less unhappy than any other group of people.
• Married people live up to eight years longer than divorced or never-married people.
• Married people suffer less from long-term illnesses than those who are unmarried.
• Married people are less likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse.
• Married people have twice the amount of sex as single people and report greater levels of satisfaction in the area of sexual intimacy.

So exciting!  Let's all get married!!!  Wait a minute!  Hold your horses!  What everyone needs to understand is you CANNOT reap the benefits without putting in the time and effort required to prepare the soil, sew the seed and tend the crop.  

I know a couple that recently divorced.  The woman filed for the divorce and then became very unhappy when she could not maintain the lifestyle to which she had become accustomed.  She wanted to keep her life the same, just have the guy exit the picture.  It doesn't work that way! Only by staying married can you have the happily ever after.  

Marriage is WORK.  It is also a LIFETIME CONTRACT.  Something we seem to have forgotten.  Until death do us part means just that.  (Please don't go to the extreme on me here, I am talking about the vast majority of marriages, and I do understand that abusive relationships must not be tolerated.)   It is not about a party.  You don't get married because 'it is time'.  It's not a test-drive to see if you like the way it runs.  It is a commitment to join your life with that of another.

Our society is suffering.  We place doubt in the minds of our children  - if we can stop loving our spouse, will we stop loving them, too? We are teaching our children that nothing is sacred.  They learn that if you don't like it - get out of it and go try something different.  

What about sticking with it? What about hammering out an agreement when we differ?  What about making the effort to understand the other person and put their needs before your own?  We have diminished the meaning of the word VOW to the point that it has little or no value. 

Let's encourage people to get married for the RIGHT reasons.  Let's encourage them to take a long hard look at the meaning behind those words we say in front of the officiant.  Take more time to plan your marriage than you do the wedding.  Commit to constant communication and improvement.  

If your marriage gets sick, take it to the doctor.  The marriage that has the BEST chance of survival is the one you are in right now.  The divorce rate increases drastically with each subsequent trip to the alter.  

Nurture your spouse, fight for your union and remember that love is a VERB.  


  1. Amen sister! You go girl!

  2. Amen indeed! Thank you for standing up for the way the Lord originally designed marriage to be.